


Out Of The Mouths of Babes

by CMGUYSGIRL



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 01:54:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMGUYSGIRL/pseuds/CMGUYSGIRL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh goodness, Erin Strauss and David Rossi have procreated and now their children have a story to tell. This is listed under Rossi and Strauss but they are barely in this story, but since it is there progeny, there fore it is there fault, I wanted you to know who to blame for this yarn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out Of The Mouths of Babes

**Out Of The Mouths of Babes**

Disclaimer, I don't own CM or any of the actors. I couldn't even afford to rent them and even if they came to work for me for free they would probably get bored waiting around for me to come up with a plot. Although I do know, I would have Strossi hitting the sheets and a shirtless Derek Morgan and Thomas Gibson walking around the BAU.

A/N: I capitalized Mommy and Daddy in this story as to their babies, that is their proper name. 

A/N 2: Don't forget to check out the Strauss/Rossi forum by clicking the link: [You Give Me Fever- A Strauss/Rossi Shippers Forum](https://www.fanfiction.net/forum/You-Give-Me-Fever/120042/). To view/Read all of my stories on one page, check out my [CMGUYSGIRL Profile Page](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4300737/cmguysgirl).

  
  


  
  


  
  


**Out Of The Mouths of Babes**

Erin Strauss and David Rossi would like to announce the birth of their twins…

“That is our birth announcement”

“Yeah it almost never happened”

“Lucky for us, our Stubborn Parents finally got it right”.

“Yeah there was quite a bit of doubt about that. They had been in love for years but were too stubborn and self involved to admit it to each other. Yet they were missing the other half of their Soul. Then something happened in Mommy's life and she let Daddy into her heart. It wasn't long after that she let him into her bed. A little over a year later, Mommy began to not feel well and she took a test and Wallah we were on the way. Now if you know our Mommy and Daddy, you know they can find something to argue about no matter what the subject. So why would something as simple as picking out our names be any different?”

“You see this is what happened…”

“Wait, hold up buster. Why are you telling the story? If anyone should be informing people of how we came into this world, it should be me – after all, I am the oldest”

“You beat me into this world by five lousy minutes and you will never let me hear the end of it.”

“Snooze you lose”

“Whatever. Just get on with it”

“Touchy, Touchy. Who curdled your milk?”

“Must have been your face”

Tuning her brother out, the little girl went on with the story...

Before they found out they were having twins, if she was having a boy, Mommy wanted to name the baby David Anthony Rossi Jr.. Daddy felt that being the son of a world famous author and FBI Profiler would be hard enough, so he didn’t want to name the baby after him. He wanted the baby to have some autonomy.

When they found out they were having twins, well Daddy said if he ever had a girl, he had always wanted to name her Giovanna after his beloved grandmother. Mommy said she loved that name and that it they had a boy, they could always go with Giovanni before making some joke about that way she could tell people she named her son after his father - since dad thinks he is Don Giovanni.

Daddy took that as a challenge and started kissing Mommy and that led to a lot of other stuff that I am sure I am too young to know about. When Mommy and Daddy finished engaging in activities that if we had watched, I am sure would have scarred us for life, as they lay there holding each other, Mommy reminded Daddy that they still hadn’t come up with a middle name for their little dynamic duo. Daddy was silent for a second while he mulled it over and then he said, “Well since we are giving our children first names after my grandmother, why don’t we use your father’s name Nicholas or a variation thereof for their middle names, i.e. Nicholas for a boy and Nicola for a girl? Although technically Nicola can be an Italian boy or girls name, since his name is Nicholas, I think we should go with that for a son.

Mommy and Daddy, informed all our Aunts and Uncles...

Well they are not our blood Aunts and Uncles , even though they way they fawn over us, spoil and protect us, no one has evidently told them that...

“Boy, will you please stop interrupting me. I was the one telling this story, if you remember”.

“Touchy, touchy sis. What, you got a stinky in your diaper or something”?

Ignoring him, his sister went on as if he hadn't spoken. “Mommy and Daddy informed all our Aunts and Uncles that they work with” here she paused to stick out her tongue at her slightly younger brother, that they were having a both a girl and a boy and the names they had chosen for us”.

“Of course the presents started pouring in, even before the baby-shower. They had a painting party to do the walls of our room. Uncle Aaron, put together all our furniture, while uncle Spenser read all the directions and put together our Mobiles. Aunt Penelope stenciled our names on our cribs, and wall after Aunt Jennifer, who everyone calls JJ, for some reason, Painted a different Nursery Rhyme mural on each wall. My older 'cousins' Jack and Henry, once again they are more cousins of the heart, not blood, place the border around the bottom of our room walls with help from Uncle William. Aunt Emily couldn't get away from her job at Int, Inter, Interpol, whatever that is... but she sent a pair of baby swings with her best wishes.

While they were busy doing that, Uncle Derek, and Daddy were working on a surprise in the garage for Mommy. Daddy had told Mommy a slight fib that he was helping Uncle 'D' as he prefers to be called, restore his latest project but in actuality what they had been doing in their spare time over the last few months was, making us hand made cradles. While everyone else was busy in the house, they were out in the garage, putting the finishing touches on our cradles. Uncle 'D' Shanghai'd Aunt Penelope, his future baby Mommy as he called her at that moment, to the garage to write our names on our cradles in that fancy writing, now what was it called again, Ca- Ca- Calligraphy, oh yeah, that's it.

Aunt Alexandra, had the job of keeping Mommy distracted while all this was going on. She had called her earlier in the week and arraigned for a day of outlet mall shopping to pick up more stuff for us. They had agreed to breakfast first, and as part of the plan, Aunt Alexandra insisted on picking Mommy up and driving her. What Mommy didn't know is that the outlet mall they were going to was quite a long ways away from the house. The trip would take about an hour and a half each way. At first Daddy was concerned about Mommy being so far away from home since she was pregnant, but after assurances that the most strenuous thing Mommy would be doing would be walking, as they would be making frequent trips to the car and they would have someone from the shops carry the heavier pieces to the car for them, or have them shipped and knowing that we weren't do to arrive for three months, Daddy relented and agreed to her taking Mommy that far from home.

To say that Mommy was surprised when she got home and saw all the hard work that had been done in her absence would have been an understatement. She cried tears of joy and hugged everyone in the room and boy was that some lip lock she laid on Daddy for arraigning it all.

When she saw the hand made cradles, she quipped, “Who knew Daddy was so good with his hands?”

“Daddy was quick with a zinger, that she did, that's how she got pregnant with the babies that needed the cradles in the first place.”

While Mommy was interested in thanking Daddy and exploring everything that had been done to our room, my womb cohabitant and I were more interested in exploring the wonderful smells emanating from the kitchen. We knew Daddy must have ordered food as it smelled good but not as Delightful as when Daddy had been in the kitchen, 'Rattling Pots' as Mommy teasingly referred to it. A few well time flips, well placed kicks and one or two tickles to her tummy so it would rumble slightly and Mommy got the message that we were ready to eat.

We ate our fill and were satisfied. Daddy and the rest of the 'family' almost laughed themselves silly that night as everyone had just settled down to watch a family friendly movie on DVD when all of a sudden, thanks to my brother and my acrobatics as we were trying to work off all that food we ate, Mommy let out a huge B-U-R-PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

We could feel Mommy's embarrassment and were quite contrite about that as we didn't mean to embarrass her. One thing we have learned about the woman carrying us is that she always likes to put her best foot forward in front of others. To make it up to Mommy, my brother and I both started patting her tummy in a comforting way. We knew all was forgiven when she started patting from her side, and rubbing soothing circles on her belly.

With the Nursery all decorated, and all our baby clothes all washed, folded and put away, Mommy and Daddy had nothing to do but sit back, relax and await our arrival.

“Well they did still have a little thing called, their jobs” her brother interjected.

“Pshaw” his sister replied with a dismissing wave of her tiny, perfect hand. “That is not important in the least bit or have you forgotten this story is all about us, brother dear?”

Her brother just rolled his eyes in a spot on imitation of their mother and she took that as her cue to go on.

“Our Baby Shower was another feast of gustatory delights”.

“You have been paying way to much attention to dad when he is in the kitchen” her brother commented.

“One can never pay too much attention to the man who prepares such delicious food for us. I don't seem to remember you turning your nose up at our Father's cooking, Squirt”

“And you never will, either” her twin said as he stuck his tongue out at his sister, while sticking his fingers in his ears and waving them.

“Really mature of you” the little girl shot back.

“How mature do you expect me to be? I haven't even left the womb yet! Her brother asked incredulously.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that” his sister replied with a sheepish smile on her face.

“It's cool big sis. No matter what, you know, with me, you rock” he little brother stated, giving her a hug.

She gave him a quick hug back as they both struggled not to cry, being babies they were not very successful.

“Any-who”, she said trying to get back on track and distract herself from crying, “As our parents were waiting for us to arrive, they would spend hours just snuggling up with each other, talking about their hopes and dreams for our future.

“Finally the day arrived for our Baby Shower. I still don't know why they call it that as they didn't put Mommy in the bath tub and turn the shower nozzle down towards her belly, but maybe it has to do with what Aunt Penelope, said about 'Showering' Mommy with Gifts for the babies”.

“And wow, did we get a lot of loot” her brother interrupted.

“It is not polite to interrupt, young man,” His sister scolded “But boy are you right”.

In fact we got so excited that we began to jump up and down so hard that our Mommy went into labor. The look on Daddy's face was priceless when she told him her water broke. Normally dad is such a cool cucumber but when Mommy told him we were coming, he was so discombobulated...

“Whoa sis, where did you learn a big word like that”? Her brother inquired with a raise of his eyebrow that would have put his daddy to shame.

“Well let's see, one of our Uncles is a genius with an IQ of 187... hmm, where do you think I heard it, Einstein”? His sister asked, with her head tilted and turned to the side to look at him.

“Don't get too smart for your pampers and write a check your scrawny butt can't cash, sis” her brother told her with a flex of his more muscular arms.

“You better be glad I haven't learned to roll over yet, or I'd smack you silly, little boy” she came back at him verbally.

“Bring it on, oh yeah, you are all talk and no action, little girl” her younger bother teased.

“I'll get you, when you least expect it, bro. Now if you know what's good for you, you will stick a pacifier in your mouth and suck it”.

Knowing it was not wise to tick his sister off, the younger sibling stated, “Signorina Rossi, you have the floor”

“Grazie Signor Rossi” his sister replied, the harsh words between the two already forgotten as she continued on with her tale.

“Daddy in his haste to make sure everything was perfect, went out to warm up the car, made sure he put up Muggi per Mommy's request, came back in and went up the stairs to grab Mommy's purse, as he had refused to let her climb the stairs, set the alarm and ran out the front door.”

“After she heard the front door slam, Mommy being Mommy, walked into the foyer, crossed her arms over her bosom and stood in the middle of the floor, out of the way of the door and waited for Daddy to realize, he had left without her. She didn't have to wait very long as Daddy came bolting back into the house setting off the alarm in his haste to get to Mommy. He had a sheepish look on his face and Mommy was about to pee her pants from laughing so hard”.

“Thankfully, we made it to the hospital safely, and without our parents bickering too much about the way Daddy drove”. There was a lot of poking and prodding and before you knew it, I was being shoved out of my nice comfortable home and into the bright lights of the delivery room. Some of the rest of it is a blur and I don't remember much but I was kind feeling naked, cold and lost, not used to my surroundings until, thankfully someone laid me on my Mommy's chest. I felt like I had finally come home and was happy, except for one thing. I kind of missed the little guy, after all I had shared a tiny enclosed space with him for almost forty weeks. He wasn't such a bad roommate after all, I decided in his absence”.

“Ahhh, thanks sis. I missed you too. I was feeling scared and alone myself now that you were gone”, her brother reached his tiny hand out and brushed her hand. Without thinking she automatically took his hand and said, “And that is how we made our arrival into the world”.

Exhausted from telling their story, both children fell into a deep and blissful slumber, still holding hands and that is how their parents found them, when they came into the room to kiss them goodnight.

The End

CMGUYSGIRL

  
  



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